“Don’t you know who I am?” I love saying that to people. You see in my own head I am a celebrity. Well I should be. I have been known to stumble out of bars at various hours, known to wave at people applauding even when it’s not for me, and have ideas about starting my own fragrance. I shall call it Klintons Klap. Because its going to smell so good, that people will want to applaud and clap. Its going to be a best seller.  Right now it’s all about a certain luxury Beverly Hills Hotel.

So being a F list celebrity I have to go where all the other celebs are and mingle and schmooze my way onto the A list. So after a quick flight, I was in the City of Angels.  And as ‘Pretty Woman’ taught me, to make it in this town you need a blonde wig and to stay in Beverly Hills. And with that I went and checked in at the very in and  swish Montage Beverly Hills.

Even though it’s a new hotel it feels like old Hollywood glamour with a Spanish Colonial influence.  Make no mistake though, you’re  in Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive is just around the corner.  Naturally,  the floral arrangement in the lobby is over the top and the staff so friendly.  Just like in ‘Pretty Woman’.  Even though I, sadly, was not staying in a suite I was permitted to peek into one.  Richard Gere would approve.

Montage’s two restaurants, Conservatory Grill and their Gourmet Italian restaurant Scarpetta are great to eat at and, at the same time network in.  I myself was looking for Brad and Angelina out of the corner of my eye.  After dinner I checked out the Parq Bar.  The live entertainment, which I was told they have every night, was first-rate.  I didn’t want to leave but was talked into having a night-cap (I can’t tell you who with but you’d be impressed) at their exclusive bar called £10.  It just won hotel bar of the year at Virtuso week in Las Vegas.

Amenities at the Montage are not just the ordinary ones.  For instance, if your staying in a Deluxe Suite or higher you’ll enjoy the complimentary use of a Mercedes-Benz.  When you’re not tooling around town you can just relax and have a drink by the pool with views of downtown Los Angeles.  You’ll be the star you were meant to be here. Me and my blonde wig did just that. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my stay there but sadly my networking failed and I  didn’t get on the A list. In fact I may have been demoted to the G list. But I will persevere as Beverly Hills is a tough place and it take guts and perseverance to make it.  Remember to be on the look out for my Klap fragrence in stores soon!