“Wow they look good”  I say to myself. Nothing like slipping into a new outfit that just hugs you in the right places. I do a little turn, strike a little pose. A little pout. Then I am ready for the runway. I pull back the curtain and begun to strut. I strut 6 paces, stop, and turn and walk back. Yep, I am lookin’ and feelin’ hot. Everyone should check out how amazing I am looking in these jeans. Click click, flash flash, the life of a model. A super model at that. Can’t get better than this.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder, I flip my hair and turn around “Yes?” “Are you going to be buying those pants sir, someone is waiting to use the change room” the shop assistant asks me. I smile and firmly advise her that my natural tan, and smile are all products of my recent holiday to Hawaii where I was on a catwalk to great acclaim. Her eyes roll. I click my fingers and begin to tell her my story.

I stayed at the Halekulani in Honolulu.  This super elegant hotel is the place to stay on Oahu and has a sense of Hawaiian magic that many try to copy but can’t duplicate.  The drive from the airport to the hotel can be deceiving.  The roads and views don’t seem that impressive but hold on. Just wait. For once the car pulls up at the hotel, and you enter, its like going from black and white to color, a sense of relief washes over. You have arrived in Paradise.

You are personally welcomed and than escorted to your room. Freshly cut flowers, fresh fruit, and a tray of homemade chocolates are waiting. Super model treatment indeed. The rooms are all beautifully comfortable in shades of white. Go take a dip in the mosaic incrusted swimming pool, or a cocktail on your lanai.  Dine at one or all of the Fab restaurants.  I may never leave here. 

But where does the modeling come into it you say? Well as the hotel is set on Waikiki Beach, one of the worlds  most famous, and with good reason.  Surfers appear to float on a sea of acquamarine as they effortlessly ride the perfect waves.  But the hotel is so close to the beach, that there are three open air restaurants and those who are on the beach must pass over a catwalk and be viewed by all those eating. Yes, in all your wet bathing suit glory, you must walk past all those eating to get across the beach and back into the hotel. And because I am such a wall flower, I worked that runway, put many off their food and thus started my short lived modeling career.

This sales girl did not appreciate my story at all. Clearly she needs the sun and Hawaii pronto. One day she will see me on the cover of Vogue and be very, very annoyed with herself for not being nice and losing the sale, cause I did look smoking hot in those jeans.